Hello emptiness. You know it's great that I am going to be doing all these things like Japan and school and all that and honestly I wanted to be single while I was in Japan so I could like grow and stuff but of course I met someone. Seriously the guy from work, lets call him Mr. X (he sorta made up his own name) , not my type at all if you can even call my type a type. I have dated a pretty wide array of men. Tattooed from head to toe, Preppy little Christan boys, Tall dark and handsome..I've pretty much covered a lot of bases...well Mr.X is like off the radar...he is super into sports, listens to country and rap, loves movies and being a homebody, picky eater....can you tell how not my type he is?? if you cant lets throw in the buff part and the fact that he hates bars he is also from West Virginia (cutest accent that ones a plus)....seriously sounds like a match made in hell right!?!? Wrong I have this crazy intense chemical reaction to him. I love the way he smells and smell is like huge for me. I don't even mind just sitting around with him, I am so comfortable with him that the second time we hung out I was able to practically fall asleep on his chest. The most impressive thing about him is I don't even think about Neo when I am with him. And when we kiss i feel that spark.
Now that I have told you about the wonderful amazing Mr.X...he dumped me yesterday. Okay so we weren't really "together" and honestly only had hung out a handful of times but I was pretty hopeful and excited. I went home sick from work yesterday (stomach bug) I fell asleep and slept until noon. I woke up to three text messages from him detailing how I am a really great, smart, funny girl and how he really does like me but he is dealing with some depression issues and he needs to deal with that and stay focused (i assume on school) basically he said I don't want to date you because I am depressed and I don't want to fuck you up too, but I really do like you...
ouch...me being sick and emotional because it's that time of the month decides to stay in bed crying and sleeping for a few more hours. Really crappy part is I figured if anything happens i.e. a breakup his last day at work is the 21st didn't think anything would happen that soon so I thought I was in the clear...well lucky me still has a whole week I have to work with him. I just want to hide under my covers. Most of me hopes that he is being honest and really does like care about me and maybe when I come home and he is less crazy we can date but most of me also knows even if that wasn't just a way out what are the chances of it working out all nice and story book perfect like I want...I am so fucking bummed out right now. it doesn't help that today is creeping along so its like every minute I have I think about the dread of working with him tonight, seeing him and trying not to be a pussy or a bitch. I'm not so good at either I am a total pussy and a huge bitch especially when I have been hurt.
Oh I left out the best part he likes cats...dudes don't like cats for real...for being so wrong he is at the same time so right. I need a man who likes cats that is super important.
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