I need to look at myself and change a few things but, what exactly do I need to change and how to go about it? I seem to piss off my friends a lot. I think mostly it happens when I have been drinking. I don't consider other peoples feelings as much as I should and I tend to fly off the handle. Okay I fly off the handle all the time even when I'm not drunk (just ask my dad). Anyway it's gotten to the point for me that I don't understand why they put up with me sometimes? I really pissed off T3 last night because I thought my phone had dropped the call when it didn't and I don't know exactly what I said(I wasn't talking shit but it was explicit) but he heard and it understandably pissed him off. Next according to BFF I was flipping out all night (which I also don't clearly remember but I don't doubt it) and I really don't know what to say about it I didn't intentionally upset either of these people but it seems that a lot of times when I go out I end up having to say sorry for something in the morning.
I earned the new nickname Drama Dre. =/**(slight correction to post drama dre was coined as my new nickname the night before when I was bored and went in search of drama on 4th)***
I don't think I drink an excessive amount and I don't think I have a problem with drinking. What I have a problem with is my behavior. I do this stuff sometimes when I am not drinking. I don't really evaluate how what I say or do will affect others. T3 told me today that I'm a good person with a good heart but there's things I need to work on before I end up alienating all of the people who love me. I hate this I don't know WTF that means?!?! I flip out a lot I know and I'm sorry but I don't know how to control it. there's another thing in this all that really bothers me. A lot of the time when I flip out it's because I'm being teased. I know it's not totally malicious and I make fun of myself all the time it makes it easier for me to deal with my imperfections. You get to a breaking point though and I have been really teetering on this breaking point for quite sometime which I feel eludes to the recent eruptions when I am drinking. I get really sick of people insulting my intelligence, granted I am not a college graduate that is super smart but I am also not an idiot and I get really pissed off when people tease me about that stuff. Another thing when people paint me as being super dramatic and it bothers me because I don't try to be super dramatic. I know I tend to have boy drama but I don't try to have that either. Really my friends and my family tease me a lot about various things and sometimes I can take it and other times I just can't.
All this junk makes me wonder why I still have friends and why my family puts up with it. I know the obvious answer is because they love me but I don't know I don't even know what to say. I'm all stressing out that I'm really gonna mess up one of these days when I flip out or I say things without thinking and I don't really know where to begin on improving myself or even if I have the willpower and determination to pull that off. I can't keep saying sorry it loses it's effect if things never change.
Well anyways I really hope Steph had a good birthday last night I had fun and the limo was gangster. lol.
I earned the new nickname Drama Dre. =/**(slight correction to post drama dre was coined as my new nickname the night before when I was bored and went in search of drama on 4th)***
I don't think I drink an excessive amount and I don't think I have a problem with drinking. What I have a problem with is my behavior. I do this stuff sometimes when I am not drinking. I don't really evaluate how what I say or do will affect others. T3 told me today that I'm a good person with a good heart but there's things I need to work on before I end up alienating all of the people who love me. I hate this I don't know WTF that means?!?! I flip out a lot I know and I'm sorry but I don't know how to control it. there's another thing in this all that really bothers me. A lot of the time when I flip out it's because I'm being teased. I know it's not totally malicious and I make fun of myself all the time it makes it easier for me to deal with my imperfections. You get to a breaking point though and I have been really teetering on this breaking point for quite sometime which I feel eludes to the recent eruptions when I am drinking. I get really sick of people insulting my intelligence, granted I am not a college graduate that is super smart but I am also not an idiot and I get really pissed off when people tease me about that stuff. Another thing when people paint me as being super dramatic and it bothers me because I don't try to be super dramatic. I know I tend to have boy drama but I don't try to have that either. Really my friends and my family tease me a lot about various things and sometimes I can take it and other times I just can't.
All this junk makes me wonder why I still have friends and why my family puts up with it. I know the obvious answer is because they love me but I don't know I don't even know what to say. I'm all stressing out that I'm really gonna mess up one of these days when I flip out or I say things without thinking and I don't really know where to begin on improving myself or even if I have the willpower and determination to pull that off. I can't keep saying sorry it loses it's effect if things never change.
Well anyways I really hope Steph had a good birthday last night I had fun and the limo was gangster. lol.
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